Jim Jacobi was born in a CIA safe house in East Berlin as the Soviet Union faced imminent collapse and every secret agent involved on both sides was gripped with entrepreneurial self interest. He arrived in the United States 10 months later in a bassinet containing a secret compartment loaded with pilfered KGB documents and Soviet weapons headed for the black market. 

After brief jaunts to the Horn of Africa, Kiev, and Budapest, where his parents took advantage of the moral free-for-all of the post-Cold War years, Jim settled in Houston. He graduated high school at age 12, became the youngest starting pitcher to win the College World Series at 15, the youngest pitcher to start an MLB game when he was signed by the Astros at 16, and the youngest Cy Young Award winner at 17. 

Alas, Jim blew out his elbow the summer after his astonishing rookie year, and went back to school for a PhD in theoretical physics. He filed 100 patents with the US government by age of 22. Upon finishing his doctorate, he elected to become an impoverished filmmaker, so joined Terrible Infant. He makes $2500 per year, lives in a dumpster a short walk from Venice beach, and subsists of scraps of food stolen from garbage cans.